What is love?

Sorry I have not written for such a long time. Unfortunately, my life has been hectic with many tests and obligations, as well as my internet going out for three days. Tonight is Halloween (or rather a couple hours ago it was), and Friday was our Halloween Swing Dancing Party.

I had been planning for weeks for the party. Carving a pumpkin, buying candy, and getting costumes for myself and Ken, the love of my life. Or so I thought. He is not a swing dancer, not by a long shot. In fact, he has come a total amount of one time ever in the years we have been together. I accepted that long ago, but I begged for days to get him to say he would come. Everything was settled and even though my week had totally sucked because of tests, homework and all around stress, it was going to end fantastic because of a great swing party with my great boyfriend. But when I got home from a three hour teaching session, ready to get dressed in our matching outfits, he was attached to his laptop where I had left him several hours before trying to finish an assignment due at midnight. Long story short, he did not come. 

There are very few times in my life I can recall deep, passionate pain, but that was one of them. I couldn't dance, or even pretend to be happy, even though the party was everything I'd hoped it would be and more. I went home at 9:30pm (to see Ken still doing his homework). I couldn't even face him today. 

So it begs the question of what is love. Or moreover, how do you know you are in love?

If I didn't love him, wouldn't his absence not have bothered me, other than a few angry thoughts about his selfishness and irresponsibility in not completing it sooner? Why couldn't I get my mind off the hurt of him betraying his promise? I don't understand it. If I do love him, why can't I really accept that this is how he is always going to be. He will never dance with me, never treat me like an intellectual equal and he will never realize when to stop pushing me until I break and explode. And yet, I must love him. It's like I am in love with who I want him to be, and have convinced myself so much that he will either change, or that he is in fact that person, that I've tricked my heart into loving him.

I don't know. I am so lost. I caught the bouquet at a wedding I went to last week and couldn't help but think how much I wanted to get married to Ken. Now, I can't even tell if he loves me.

By the way, I am up at this ungodly hour because Ken thought it would be funny to clap loudly in my ear to "see if I was really sleeping". I did not find it so funny. I'm staying out of the room in hopes that I'll calm down eventually.

Cats

Today it dawned upon me that my kitten, Jasmine is quite agile. She is quite tiny, maybe 1.25 feet at most, and less than 5lbs. She walked on about two centimeter thick piece of furniture with no difficultly at all. It was very cold today (well for a Floridian) at 68 degrees, so Jasmine curled up against me pretty much all day as I did my homework. Very cute. 

Immigrant Ranting

So I saw this article today online.

http://news.aol.com/article/targets-illegal-alien-costume-under-fire/721428?icid=main|main|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Ftargets-illegal-alien-costume-under-fire%2F721428

After reading it (and some of it's ridiculous commenter...) I still had mixed feelings about the whole issue.

On the one side, Halloween costumes make fun of everything else in the world, why not illegal immigrants? I find the costume a little amusing, but definitely not high on my list of offensive american statements. I mean hello, just go turn on Southpark, and you'll really see some offensive things. 

On the other side, the anger stirred up by activists groups made me take a second look at what I think about illegal aliens. I've heard many arguments from both sides, some of which have no basis at all and some that seem to hold some validity. So who is right?

If you analyze the whole "well we are all immigrants" then you actually realize it's quite illogical. So, Christopher Columbus found the americas, but Indians were here first right? Wrong. Native Americans also immigrated. They came across the russian/alaskan bridge that existed then and slowly migrated south all the way to brazil and chile, making civilizations along the way. So by that standpoint EVERYONE immigrated from Eurasia. But come one, the argument is ridiculous anyway. There was no "america" then. The immigrants from Europe after Columbus is what inevideply set up our country. Everyone thinks Mexicanos and other hispanic immigrants have it hard, but you can't immigrate to america easily from ANYWHERE. The only reason people argue about it so vividly with mexicans is because they share a border with us and have a poor economy. You don't see Canadians coming across because they are doing alright. So if you want to argue that we should just open our borders to anyone who wants in, then get ready to be overun by people who don't speak english and have very little work skill sets.

Oh and stop saying that they do the jobs we won't. Maybe if you were to go ask the Clinton's they would probably not go orange picking or house cleaning, but you ask the average lower class american who just wants to pay there rent? They will jump to get that job. But that is just it. You can pay an illegal almost half as much as a citizen, so who do you think the jobs go to? 

This isn't about immigrants rights, because in this country they just don't have them. It is about OUR rights, our promise that we can pursue a life of happiness, something that cannot happen if no jobs are available. 

I understand that Mexico is in a terrible predicament. I understand that there is no food, no jobs and no opportunity there, but what good does it do to make America just like that? Instead we should be rebuilding Mexico. Not letting everyone take our rights and opportunities away.

Ok, now I really have to start my homework. Byes

Honeybees and Humans

Hey Everyone,

So something I have noticed is that people are inherently selfish. Maybe you believe humans evolved this self-preserving characteristic, or perhaps you believe there is just inherent evil in all humans. Whatever your belief is, it begs the question of why? Maybe I am just an idealist, incapable of realistic hopes, but why do we drive ourselves with selfishness and justify it with hate? 

The honeybee or apis cerana are classified as eusocial insects. Basically it means they are unique insects in that they care for there young, have overlapping generations, and are completely dedicated to the survival and growth of the hive as a whole. Worker bees go out and collect pollen that is brou

ght back and distributed evenly among all that live in the hive. If there is an attack on the hive, all the protectors swarm out and sting the enemy. But unfortunately, stinging for a bee always mean death since there lower abdomen rips off when they sting in order to keep the stinger in place and supply a continuous flow of poison. 

I'm not saying humans should go on suicide runs every time there is a disaster, or that socialism is the way, but something has to change. I don't know if it is like this elsewhere in the world, but Americans have gotten so selfish towards each other. They use any excuse to justify why they should receive more than someone else, including religion, color, gender and age. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

It is unfair for me to say every human is selfish. There are truly righteous people dedicated to helping others, but they are few and far between. So I plead to everyone that reads this. It is a fact that humans are inherently selfish, but let us all try not to exercise that urge to much. 

"Life is a roller coaster or love, hate, happiness and hurt. All you can do is enjoy the ups and learn from the downs"

Welcome to Me

So... my very first blog. Honestly, I am surprised it has taken me this long to start one, I'm very opinionated and talk a lot. Perfect candidate for a blogger no? Well I thought I'd start with an intro to me so you don't feel like you are reading about a complete stranger (although if that's your thing... que sera sera)

Probably the first thing that comes to mind when you ask any of my friends about me is that I love swing dancing. If I am not studying, eating or sleeping,

I'm probably dancing. I feel happiest when I am on the dance floor and I live for the music. It's an unexplainable

feeling, but it makes me feel free. No one tells me what to do or how to do it, I am completely in control of my dance, unlike pretty much everything else in my life. It's like an addicting drug I guess. 

What else.... I am a Florida Gator, although sadly I just don't enjoy football. I'd rather watch the band's half-time show :) 

I am an Entomology and Botany duel-major. Basically, I really like insects. They are extremely diverse and people could definitely take a lesson from some of them. 

I wish people could love more. What is the point in hating somebody? I just don't understand it. So what if someone has a different outlook than you? Who cares if there race, color or creed is not the same as yours?

When it all boils down, both of you are human and both of you have no reason to hate each other over petty differences. I hope that someday a person can be judged solely on their ability to perform rather than their personal beliefs, or the physical appearance.

I have two kitty's. They are absolutely adorable. Jasmine is laying on top of my feet as I type this and keeping me warm. Ultra cute...

Lola is the older cat and she is very fat. But I love her anyway. She sleeps on my belly all night. Kind of annoying since she is 12lbs, but I'll live :)

I really love food. More than I probably should! Italian food, indian food, and cereal. Yes, cereal. Best invention ever! 

Well, that's all I have time for right now. Unfortunetly, I have to start studying for my Chemistry test. *sigh* Chem is just not my thing...

I will try and leave you all with a quote that I like to think about. We'll play a game. Leave a comment about whether or not you agree/like/etc. it. Oh, and the best way to get to know me is to ask questions :) See y'all later!

"All I want for the world is to leave it better than when I entered it"